For He Hath Passed...

There are those days when I think about the time when I pass from this earth and this existence of suffering. Being Buddhist, we tend to think our lives are meant to be a life of suffering. Your suffering is only ended the day when you can be liberated from your earthly form and reborn.

So my thought was whilst watching a Bruce Lee documentary was did I do enough in life to be remembered? Have I done anything noteworthy to even be remembered? Have I made a mark on the people that I've touched in my lifetime?

Let's be frank, unless you're Michael Jackson, or Billy Mays the likely-hood of anyone remembering you after a month will be quite slim...

I mean I'm sure my family would remember me, and some of the goofy crap I've done to garner a laugh from them... Also, most of my relatives have a picture of me somewhere in their homes... So at least they have some physical evidence I was alive...

My friends would probably fall into the category of they'll remember me for a month then kinda forget about me. I wish I could say that wasn't the case. Well, maybe I should amend that statement, I should say very few people would not forget about me... But those are the few whom actually care about me as a person.

So there will come a day when I'm at Fatburger eating a XXXL and die of a massive coronary (that's how I plan to go folks...) What will I have done to make my mark? Well first things first I need to get out of the dead end job I'm in... I want to get some headshots done and work on my writing and acting passions. I also want to get our media company off the ground, I'm hoping our buddies Paco and Eric will be on board for the journey...

Despite what my religion tells me, I want to grab all I can get and have fun for once in my life... I had to grow up real early and never got a real childhood... And I want to do it with a bunch of cash in my pocket, where I don't have to look at the price tags on things... And I want to be remembered for being a good writer, actor, and media mogul... And hopefully a good husband and father...

What are you doing to leave your mark? I gotta find mine...

Randumb Thoughts at 3:30 in the Morning

Why is it I can never close the deal (or hell, even start the deal) with a girl that has so much in common with me and is sooo hot it's ridiculous...

Reba was a very underrated show... I need to find the 5th and 6th seasons on dvd...

I need a new pair of shoes for work and Terra Plana's may be my choice... at 120 bones though may need to wait for payday... lol

I still need to get my ass in gear and get my living room cleaned up... (i.e. need to get some old dressers out of the house and into our storage shed...)

I wish I could find someone special to snuggle with at night... It does get lonely in the big bedroom...

Maybe I'll find me a nice dog to help warm up our house a bit... Thinking of a retired racing greyhound...

It's nice to actually get the chance to do my own laundry and do my own cooking again... Having Grandma in the house doing that stuff was cool and I love her for doing it... I at least feel like an adult again...

I'm grateful for my friends like my gaming clan they've helped me battle the loneliness and lack of female companionship lately...

I'm sure I got more but at this point I'm sure I've bored the 5 readers I've got to tears... lol

Lates...

A

Nice Guys Finish Last...

Yeah... I think I'm done trying to be the nice guy all the time. My thought is what is this getting me? Not a damn thing...

I'm starting to think that maybe I'm a sucker for being the nice guy... There's that old phrase of some people see kindness as a weakness... I'm beginning to wonder if the people I associate with think that of me...

I dunno anymore... and I'm at the point where I really don't care... I'm feeling quite disillusioned at this moment and it's because of my expectations of my friends... I probably shouldn't care and normally I don't... But I think true to my chinese zodiac nature (it's a horse by the way...) I do fall in love with people too easily...

But it's not in my nature to be the jag-off... which is what the opposite sex seems to be attracted to... it makes no sense to me...

So at this point, I think I'm gonna just go into a bubble and not socialize for a while... I'll find out who my real friends are when they come and find me instead of me trying to find them all the damn time...

Btw, I apologize for the disjointed thoughts... I'm outta practice on this blogging thing...