For He Hath Passed...

There are those days when I think about the time when I pass from this earth and this existence of suffering. Being Buddhist, we tend to think our lives are meant to be a life of suffering. Your suffering is only ended the day when you can be liberated from your earthly form and reborn.

So my thought was whilst watching a Bruce Lee documentary was did I do enough in life to be remembered? Have I done anything noteworthy to even be remembered? Have I made a mark on the people that I've touched in my lifetime?

Let's be frank, unless you're Michael Jackson, or Billy Mays the likely-hood of anyone remembering you after a month will be quite slim...

I mean I'm sure my family would remember me, and some of the goofy crap I've done to garner a laugh from them... Also, most of my relatives have a picture of me somewhere in their homes... So at least they have some physical evidence I was alive...

My friends would probably fall into the category of they'll remember me for a month then kinda forget about me. I wish I could say that wasn't the case. Well, maybe I should amend that statement, I should say very few people would not forget about me... But those are the few whom actually care about me as a person.

So there will come a day when I'm at Fatburger eating a XXXL and die of a massive coronary (that's how I plan to go folks...) What will I have done to make my mark? Well first things first I need to get out of the dead end job I'm in... I want to get some headshots done and work on my writing and acting passions. I also want to get our media company off the ground, I'm hoping our buddies Paco and Eric will be on board for the journey...

Despite what my religion tells me, I want to grab all I can get and have fun for once in my life... I had to grow up real early and never got a real childhood... And I want to do it with a bunch of cash in my pocket, where I don't have to look at the price tags on things... And I want to be remembered for being a good writer, actor, and media mogul... And hopefully a good husband and father...

What are you doing to leave your mark? I gotta find mine...

Randumb Thoughts at 3:30 in the Morning

Why is it I can never close the deal (or hell, even start the deal) with a girl that has so much in common with me and is sooo hot it's ridiculous...

Reba was a very underrated show... I need to find the 5th and 6th seasons on dvd...

I need a new pair of shoes for work and Terra Plana's may be my choice... at 120 bones though may need to wait for payday... lol

I still need to get my ass in gear and get my living room cleaned up... (i.e. need to get some old dressers out of the house and into our storage shed...)

I wish I could find someone special to snuggle with at night... It does get lonely in the big bedroom...

Maybe I'll find me a nice dog to help warm up our house a bit... Thinking of a retired racing greyhound...

It's nice to actually get the chance to do my own laundry and do my own cooking again... Having Grandma in the house doing that stuff was cool and I love her for doing it... I at least feel like an adult again...

I'm grateful for my friends like my gaming clan they've helped me battle the loneliness and lack of female companionship lately...

I'm sure I got more but at this point I'm sure I've bored the 5 readers I've got to tears... lol

Lates...

A

So... What's New?

Ahh good times with good friends!

Nothin'... lol

All work and no play makes for a very dull boy...

The bright side is... I've been hanging out with friends going shooting and catching up on my documentaries...

Speaking of documentaries, I just saw one about the British Special Air Service and their anti-terrorism wing. I found out that I want a dynamic hammer now! lol

Work has been VERY stressful and a bit mundane but I guess I'll pile through as always and hope the week will get better...

Still wookin' pa nub in all da wong paces... (If you can't get the reference... I'm very sorry for you... lol)

Well that's it... those are all my disjointed thoughts for this one...

How Many of Us Have Them?

My Best Friend in the World

Okay... So it's been a little bit since I last wrote but at least it wasn't like 3 months or something like that...

So I've been thinking, what is a friend?

I tend to think as a society we throw around that word a lot to describe people who are mere acquaintances. I know I'm guilty of that just as much as anybody.

The question of who are my "friends" came to mind when me and the manager of our store were talking about it as we were setting up a sidewalk sale.

He's kind of like me, when I say that at my age I really don't need any new "besties"... I have my brother and my cousin who's like my sister, those are pretty much my "best" friends in the world because I would damn near do anything for them. I also have to mention my friend Paco and Matt because I've known them for awhile and they've always provided me good counsel when I needed it. (Well that and the fact me an Paco tend to have an absurd sense of humor that seemingly only we get...)

But... Here comes my fatal flaw... I'm one of those people who would give you the money in my pocket if you seemed like you needed it even if you are just an acquaintance...

One example that comes to mind is one of our cashiers who was saying she wasn't feeling well and had some cramps, I actually went and bought a bottle of water for her so she could feel better... Now mind you she's a cutie, but that wasn't my motivation for doing that... I was genuinely concerned for her well being... (Well that and the fact I really didn't want to have to call someone else to fill in for her... lol)

But it's stuff like that that makes me think, why would I do that when that person isn't even really my friend? I mean we're friends at work (hell, if she wasn't working for me I'd definitely want to date her...) but outside of that I don't really know this girl from Adam...

I want to say maybe it's because my mother has an influence in this or maybe it's the buddhism thing...

My mother who has been divorced from my father a good 10 years went into panic mode when my father had his stroke... When me and my brother talked with her it she was always concerned whether or not we went and visited my father in the hospital. I will mention that they had a VERY messy divorce and a VERY messy marriage... My father did such horrible things to my mother financially it made me feel better when their divorce was final... It was that reasoning that made me and Adam always say "Why in the hell do you even care? Dad was such a prick to you???" The answer always stuns me when she says "Yeah, he's an asshole and I have absolutely no love for him, but I still am concerned from one human being to another..."

So, I apparently inherited that from my mother and grandmother...

When it comes to a choice though between helping a "friend" or just some cat you know, I know I'm going to try my hardest to help both.

But we all make that choice whether or not we extend that kindness to strangers. I guess my choice at the end of the day is to further skew the lines and say well since this person is my "friend"(otherwise known as an acquaintance) I will do what I can do make their lives better...

So What's in the Cards?

Also gotta thank Paco Montoya of E&P Designs for our logo check 'em out!

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine from my Sallie Mae days... (Matt Scheurerman in case you're wondering.... Check out his site!) I think the tone my my Twitter posts lately in addition to my gloomy blog entry about what I wanted to be when I grow up sparked some thoughts about something to take me out of my doldrums...

We had a heck of a talk and he put some good ideas into my noggin so I'll start off by saying thank you Matt for being a sounding board!

So what did I decide to do?

Well my voice has always been something of an asset to me, I've been told of my "radio voice" by customers and co-workers alike... So....

Me and my brother Adam are going to start podcasting again... It'll be a little bit since I need to find a server and a new website. So ETA is probably going to be in a couple of months... We'll still have the same silliness but we're going to set up more professionally this time (hopefully).

We've already got a name thankfully... DeauxBrahs... Adam and I figured it's already in existence and the skateboarding thing didn't work so incorporate it into our media brand...

So, there it is... Another diversion for me and hopefully we can keep it up this time... (Although Adam's out of school now so I don't have to worry about him stressing over tests anymore... lol)

Good Luck In Your Future Endeavors...

Yeah buddy... That was me... lol

I was reading some releases for the WWE and it always makes me laugh when I see "The WWE wishes so and so good luck in their future endeavors"... Really? In a business when someone gets fired I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "Oh and by the way good luck in your future endeavors..." and meant it...

Matter of fact, one fun little story I have centers around my being laid off from Sallie Mae... I laugh at this story because my cousin/big sister was more upset about how it transpired than I was... lol

I'll start off with a little back story on this... Right around 2008 when the elections were starting to heat up there was a lot of talk about student loans getting hit hard especially in the FFELP (If you don't know what that is here's a wikipedia link.... ) So like most major corporations Sallie Mae began to downsize, which is quite understandable because you gotta make that money somehow... (I guess...) My cousin who helped me get a job with Sallie Mae is eternally a "glass half-empty" type of girl... I remember she kept saying we're screwed... It only really started hitting me when pretty much most of my team was let go in a mass layoff. Leaving only 5 or 6 of us left. We were to be reassigned...

So one day I'm working on my daily reports which I sent to the VP I worked for, when all of a sudden I had to reboot my computer. Not an unusual occurrence since the laptops we used crashed or slowed down A LOT...

I'll also mention that day there was a HUGE conference call announcing more layoffs... But I didn't receive an invite to the party, so it was business as usual I thought...

Problem was I wasn't able to log back in... This was about 10 or 11... So I went ahead and called our help desk to see if it was something system related. They said they'd call back.

So I remember going to my cousin's cubicle and telling her something's wrong I don't think I work for the company anymore... I can remember the look on her face, it was a look of disbelief and she started snooping with her boss... I figured if I was getting let go might as well go to lunch... lol

I got back to the office and my cousin had this insane look on her face she looked up the help desk ticket and it said something to the effect of "We contacted Alan's boss and he said Oh he doesn't know?" Suffice it to say my cousin was a little more than pissed... (And you NEVER want to see her pissed...) She went into her bosses office and demanded him to find out what the hell was going on... All the while I'm thinking "Hmm... wonder what now?"

So I get called into our human resources office and they get my director on the phone and she begins to apologize to me about not being on the call that morning and they were letting me go... My first thought honestly was "Ok... Who the hell cares... What are you assholes gonna give me in the way of a severance package??? Dolla signs bitch!" Of course I tried to be as amiable as I could be as she finished up her speech.

So what did she end with? "I want to wish you good luck in your future endeavors" Being the smart ass, I said "Thank you and good luck in your future endeavors as well!" I to this day honestly think that caught her off guard... lol

So once that was finished, my cousin and most of my co-workers of 5 years helped me pack up what I had in my cubicle I said my abbreviated good byes and left no longer working for Sallie Mae...

Funny side note... My cousin called me after she left work to see if I was ok, and then went on a 10 minute rant about how they let me go and how they were a-holes to let me go like that... I'm thinking geez I'm the one who got let go and you're more upset about it than I am! lol (But that's why I've always said that my cousin Corrine is my big sister...)

So what's in a phrase? Especially this one? When people say that they don't give a rat's ass about you... It's really just a nice way of saying "Good riddance and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, because we gotta pay to have that door cleaned..."

Randumb Thoughts...

In case you're wondering that's Miss Alanah Rae's booty with our logo on that...

Funny things that I've realized...

Twitter has a CRAPLOAD of porn bots and apparently they all wanna follow me... Man a brotha wants to know what his favorite porn stars are doing and it has to be ruined by bots... LOL

In watching the original David Blaine special, I wonder sometimes why didn't someone scream "HOLY SHIT A WIIIIITCH!" and proceeded to light him on fire with a zippo... The reactions to his magikery is prettty freakin' priceless...

In playing Rock Band 2, I realize that my brother has a set of pipes on him... Gotta remember to put earplugs in like a real rock band... and soundproof my room...

Speaking of Rock Band, I'm waiting for Rock Band: John Mayer...

Oh and when are they coming out with a "real rock band" pack to download? You know... during career mode:

"Your drummer is now addicted to heroin and is now on Addiction with Dr. Drew... Lose $1,000,000 and a million fans"

In talking with my brother he now realizes why I say the goofy crap I say... What can I say my earliest memories of my dad is he'd have company over and porn would be on the TV... LOL

It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away!

Ok, Ok...

UH... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???

Apparently I'm not good enough to be a training specialist or a Assistant Bank Manager trainee in Lake Charles, LA.... LOL! Oh well, as with all things we go on and will continue to get my hustle on...

Sooo... Just got back from a marathon travel sesh... Kinda sucks having to come back to the residence but I did find out a lot of things on this trip...

So what did Alan find out? (In no particular order...)

1.) Driving 4 days in a rent-a-truck dragging your mother's SUV behind you on busy free/highways friggin' sucks...

2.) I still don't know where the hell Van Horn, TX is... But the Chevron truck stop had a BOMB ass Mexican restaurant with the BEST salsa I've had in awhile!!!

3.) Truck stop restaurants kick MAJOR ass...

4.) Monster Energy, Red Bull, and Rockstar Energy drinks ARE your best friends...

5.) Don't ever travel with a mother who says "It's up to you when you wanna stop..." Then proceeds to bitch about being hungry and tired 30 minutes later...

6.) Texas is a BIG ASS state!!!

7.) Dairy Queens must be VERY popular in Texas...

8.) Don't rent trucks from Budget Rentals in Reno... Son of a bitch sent us out on the road with 2 bald front tires on the truck and 3 bald tires on the trailer carrying my mom's truck... Good thing we stopped at that Shell in Wickenburg...

9.) If given a choice stay at a Holiday Inn Express... La Quinta Inn's are SKETCHY AS HELL!!!

10.) No matter where you go Denny's Grand Slam Burgers KICK ASS!!!

11.) I'm suddenly starting to realize that my mother complains about various afflictions that she may be a hypochondriac...

12.) Apparently if you have a Wal Mart you are considered in civilization... (Used to be McDonald's...)

13.) Driving the I-10 East in Houston on a Saturday night in a rent-a-truck dragging an SUV behind you is the scariest thing EVER!!!! I think that steering wheel still has indentations where my hands where...

14.) Lake Charles is humid!!!

15.) Ryan's in Lake Charles is the best buffet in that town and cheap too! (Ok, who are we kidding, anyplace that has fried porkchops, catfish, greens, mac and cheese, red beans and rice, is ALWAYS good to me...)

16.) I REALLY miss Arizona...

17.) I need to get myself a job... LOL

I'm sure I missed a bunch of stuff but that's all I got mentally for now...

Have a good one!

OMG! Nerd Alert!

To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before...

Trekkies like me unite!!! Epic trailer for the new Star Trek movie! I'm actually gonna break convention and watch this sucker in the theatre. I know, I know what a freakin' nerd! I like to think that our future would be as idealistic as that. It captured my imagination as a kid and it still kinda does now... Just don't tell anybody!!! lol!

Miracle Berries?

Why does it burn??? LOL Poor Olivia!

As Seen On TV...

Why does it smell??? LOL Finally Vince and Billy Mays are put to the test... LOL

I'm So Lucky...

I was sitting here looking at the message board for my SOCOM clan and I had a realization... I am such a lucky person to have found such a great group of people to game with. I've actually been able to find friends in all parts of the U.S. and Canada, that is SOOO cool!

Matter of fact one of my friends Paco and his cousin Hector just visited my hometown and we just had a big ol' order of wings at Joe Bob's Chicken Palace.

Some of you know Paco's work from the AWESOME header that he designed for this blog (Check the link at the bottom)! He also designed the uber-cool sig that's above! We have a lot of things in common and similar values and the same sense of humor so of course that stoked the fire of friendship... Of course the fuel is fired because Paco actually laughs at my antics in the game... LOL! I couldn't imagine a better squad mate because he actually has some skill to balance out my nonsense...

We even play other games like Skate 2 and Street Fighter IV which are fun as all get go because we can just hang out and have fun. Same goes with Tiger Woods with some of my other clanmates!

It's been a trying 5 months since I moved back to Reno, with my Dad still recovering from a stroke that left him paralyzed on his left side. It's been made even harder in that my Dad's mental facilities aren't all there. Couple that with the fact that I haven't been able to get a job in this stinkhole makes the time here even more stressful!

I can honestly say, if it wasn't for the members of Riders of the Apocalypse, I probably would've spiraled into REALLY bad depression... The character of the membership of my clan is unlike many I have ever seen! It's really a family... Albeit a dysfunctional family but a family nonetheless... Again, all from a video game...

I guess this post is to really recognize those awesome folks who I can count as my sisters and brothers from other mothers!

Thank you ROTA!!!

Alan Varah

A.K.A. colt556

Stay Classy...

Stay Classy Oscars...

Those of you who read this blog know I have an affinity for Anne Hathaway (apparently... she's on the header!), I'd find it difficult to say that I wasn't disappointed when she didn't win best actress at the oscars.  But what can you do?  Kate Winslet is a great actress as well!  Oh well I can take solace in the fact that she gave a great musical number and like the classy-type gal she is she wore a classy gown.  What else can I say?  She's a hottie!  

What a Nap!

I just woke up from a wicked nap...  All I can say holy crap!  I slept for like 4 hours!  I couldn't sleep last night so I didn't get a load of sleep.  I finally crashed out at noon...  Boy that means I ain't sleeping tonight...  Suck...  

Watching a bit on Attack of the Show's podcast about Lucha Va Voom...  The most utterly ridiculous thing I've ever seen...  LOL!  But you can't beat midgets wrestling!

This has got to be the most Ree-Dunk-Culous show ever...

Sad Songs at 5 AM!!!

I'm up at 5AM and can't sleep...  Holy crapola!!! I'm listening to Sara Bareilles' new tune Gravity, just listening to the song it's such a sad song...  But so good at the same time with it's simplicity.  I think as I've gotten older I tend to enjoy simpler sounding music.  Simple arrangements and a great singer I've found is all I need recently.  

Awesome song, so simple and a great video! I know I've lost some macho points but I don't care...  LOL

That's probably why I couldn't tell you what Lil' Wayne sings without looking at my brother for an answer... Which by the way his music sucks now, not that it was noteworthy before but the fact that he got nominated for so many darn grammy awards is ridiculous!  If he had a message or something then yes I can see you win awards for it.  Sucks to say that Run DMC, Public Enemy, and NWA came out at the wrong time...  Cuz those cats deserved awards for being the innovators of the hip hop genre.  Oh well...

Well for now I'm gonna contemplate if I'm gonna go on glass and stay up for the rest of the day and play some SOCOM respawn...  While I'm doing that I'll listen to some more Sara Bareilles.  By the way, if you get a chance to see her in concert she's an awesome performer!  Sara Bareilles Live at the Fillmore is a great DVD that showcases a simple show where the artist can actually sing!  

Check Out Sara's Site!!!  

On a lighter note...  Here's Sara taking a tour around an concert venue...

SHE'S FLOORIN' IT RIGHT NOW!!! LOL

Random Hot Chick of the Moment

I now present to you Miss Olivia Munn goddess of G4.  Look at the pic and you'll see what I'm talking about!  Can't beat a smart-ass half asian, half caucasian chick who's not afraid to make fun of herself...  Are you still reading my post???  

She also has an incredibly absurd fear of balloons...  LOL

Check Out Her Website!!!!

It's Been Awhile...

Lazy Days...

So...  It's been awhile since I've blogged something.  Hmm what can I say...  Well I got a follow-up interview with AT&T's call center here so that's something new.  Hopefully I'll get it.  It's always funny how I can go on a writing jag and then all of a sudden BLAM I can't write a darn thing!  But I think the main culprit of my lack o' writing recently is because I've been a lazy ass...  LOL

I've been playing my PS3 and finding that is a great way to take your mind off of things!  And besides SOCOM is just too darn important!  I'm sure I'll have people who will agree with me!  :)    

Skate 2...

In response to my boy Paco's entry about Skate part Deux, I had to put this gem of a clip on the web! This will show you why I play Skate 2... Although I was actually trying to grind the ledge...

Extreme I am not friends...

Random Hot Chick of the Moment...

Whoo!!!

Some of you may know of my affinity for Miss Anne Hathaway!  I dunno, I think this it's a combination of her classic beauty, and her love of helping others.  From the interviews that I see and her interactions with people she seems like a very nice person who seems genuine.  I need to get a script going so I can get her cast in it!!!  

Random Hot Chick...

It's January...  So here's January Jones!

I'm sick and this sucks...  Oh well I'm on a blog update blitz today since we just did the show so why the hell not?  

Enjoy the hottie...  

And enjoy the show!

Click Here to Listen to The Adam Vara Show!