For He Hath Passed...

There are those days when I think about the time when I pass from this earth and this existence of suffering. Being Buddhist, we tend to think our lives are meant to be a life of suffering. Your suffering is only ended the day when you can be liberated from your earthly form and reborn.

So my thought was whilst watching a Bruce Lee documentary was did I do enough in life to be remembered? Have I done anything noteworthy to even be remembered? Have I made a mark on the people that I've touched in my lifetime?

Let's be frank, unless you're Michael Jackson, or Billy Mays the likely-hood of anyone remembering you after a month will be quite slim...

I mean I'm sure my family would remember me, and some of the goofy crap I've done to garner a laugh from them... Also, most of my relatives have a picture of me somewhere in their homes... So at least they have some physical evidence I was alive...

My friends would probably fall into the category of they'll remember me for a month then kinda forget about me. I wish I could say that wasn't the case. Well, maybe I should amend that statement, I should say very few people would not forget about me... But those are the few whom actually care about me as a person.

So there will come a day when I'm at Fatburger eating a XXXL and die of a massive coronary (that's how I plan to go folks...) What will I have done to make my mark? Well first things first I need to get out of the dead end job I'm in... I want to get some headshots done and work on my writing and acting passions. I also want to get our media company off the ground, I'm hoping our buddies Paco and Eric will be on board for the journey...

Despite what my religion tells me, I want to grab all I can get and have fun for once in my life... I had to grow up real early and never got a real childhood... And I want to do it with a bunch of cash in my pocket, where I don't have to look at the price tags on things... And I want to be remembered for being a good writer, actor, and media mogul... And hopefully a good husband and father...

What are you doing to leave your mark? I gotta find mine...

Randumb Thoughts at 3:30 in the Morning

Why is it I can never close the deal (or hell, even start the deal) with a girl that has so much in common with me and is sooo hot it's ridiculous...

Reba was a very underrated show... I need to find the 5th and 6th seasons on dvd...

I need a new pair of shoes for work and Terra Plana's may be my choice... at 120 bones though may need to wait for payday... lol

I still need to get my ass in gear and get my living room cleaned up... (i.e. need to get some old dressers out of the house and into our storage shed...)

I wish I could find someone special to snuggle with at night... It does get lonely in the big bedroom...

Maybe I'll find me a nice dog to help warm up our house a bit... Thinking of a retired racing greyhound...

It's nice to actually get the chance to do my own laundry and do my own cooking again... Having Grandma in the house doing that stuff was cool and I love her for doing it... I at least feel like an adult again...

I'm grateful for my friends like my gaming clan they've helped me battle the loneliness and lack of female companionship lately...

I'm sure I got more but at this point I'm sure I've bored the 5 readers I've got to tears... lol

Lates...

A

Nice Guys Finish Last...

Yeah... I think I'm done trying to be the nice guy all the time. My thought is what is this getting me? Not a damn thing...

I'm starting to think that maybe I'm a sucker for being the nice guy... There's that old phrase of some people see kindness as a weakness... I'm beginning to wonder if the people I associate with think that of me...

I dunno anymore... and I'm at the point where I really don't care... I'm feeling quite disillusioned at this moment and it's because of my expectations of my friends... I probably shouldn't care and normally I don't... But I think true to my chinese zodiac nature (it's a horse by the way...) I do fall in love with people too easily...

But it's not in my nature to be the jag-off... which is what the opposite sex seems to be attracted to... it makes no sense to me...

So at this point, I think I'm gonna just go into a bubble and not socialize for a while... I'll find out who my real friends are when they come and find me instead of me trying to find them all the damn time...

Btw, I apologize for the disjointed thoughts... I'm outta practice on this blogging thing...

I Need a Vacation...

If you can believe it... This was an idea for a skateboard we had...

Almost a year into my stint with Big 5 I've realized one thing... I NEED A VACATION!!!!

And maybe something creative to do...

As you may have seen near the bottom of the right side of this blog, I've got a badge/link (whatever the hell you'd call it...) that is the start of the Official DeauxBrahs Media Face Book page... What can you expect from it?

Well let me start off by telling y'all what isn't gonna be on it...

-Pictures of cute puppies...

-Pictures of food (Well maybe if we're producing a cooking skit or something... or if the food is REALLY kick ass...)

-Pictures of boobies... (Uh... Well I think that breaks FB's code and ethics... I think...)

-Posts that say "DeauxBrahs is taking a dump in a sketchy bathroom" (Eww...)

- Other crap that people don't really wanna know...

So what can you expect from our FB page?

-Funny ass posts...

-Updates on what we're doing and what we're brainstorming

-Pictures of cleavage... (Since we can't post actual boobies...)

-Behind the scenes of our show

-Developments on products that we may be offering...

-Casting calls for skits

-And maybe... just maybe... A link to a newly updated podcast

-Oh and we'll solicit opinions/ideas for new sketches... (we'll probably not use them but thank you! lol)

So unless your mouse clicking finger is broken click on the like button and give us some love! I promise we'll always answer back... Unless you're a total douche...

Lates!

Alan

So... What's New?

Ahh good times with good friends!

Nothin'... lol

All work and no play makes for a very dull boy...

The bright side is... I've been hanging out with friends going shooting and catching up on my documentaries...

Speaking of documentaries, I just saw one about the British Special Air Service and their anti-terrorism wing. I found out that I want a dynamic hammer now! lol

Work has been VERY stressful and a bit mundane but I guess I'll pile through as always and hope the week will get better...

Still wookin' pa nub in all da wong paces... (If you can't get the reference... I'm very sorry for you... lol)

Well that's it... those are all my disjointed thoughts for this one...

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

The Three Headed Heat Monster... Taking bets on when this is gonna break bad...

No, I'm not doing a tribute to Paula Cole...

I'm actually talking about the most recent developments in NBA free agency. Maybe it's nostalgia or my naivety in looking for "superstars" to stay where they were drafted.

Of course I'm talking about Lebron James leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers for "greener" pastures in Miami joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh as members of the Miami Heat.

First things first, I'm not a particular fan of LBJ, I personally have more respect for Kobe Bryant's talent, drive and ability more than 'Bron. And he's stayed loyal to the Lake Show, so my respect for KB goes up on that fact alone...

With that said, Lebron was quite entertaining in Cleveland when he WAS the show...

Of course he used the standard athlete's answer in saying that it was about winning hence why he chose Miami. Which he felt he could be a championship contender with Wade, and Bosh on the roster with him.

I guess I can understand that, in all reality he will be taking less money in order to play with Wade and Bosh. With that said I don't know how he plans on winning with a roster full of 2nd tier players outside of the aforementioned Wade and Bosh. Michael Beasley has shown flashes but with the new three headed monster coming in I can't imagine he'll develop much more since a good portion of touches will be going to James, Wade, and Bosh. The rest of the roster has been projected to be a motley crew of minimum wage players who would most likely be the 9th or 10th men on other rosters.

So... I can't wait to see how this pans out next year.

Aaaaand there's of course Cleveland... The jilted lover in this debacle...

I genuinely feel bad for the people of Cleveland, the "hometown" boy who made good turned his back on them and bolted for warmer weather when they could've offered him the most financial gain out of all the offers on the table.

So with that said, how bad is the situation in the Cavaliers' organization that their ONLY star had to sprint away ala Usain Bolt from them?

Lebron made the announcement and the reaction from both Cleveland and Miami was pretty predictable. I can't say I was surprised over the decision, there was a ton of speculation that at least Wade and James wanted to play together... But I didn't think that they'd end up together in Miami.

So on to the soapbox and making myself sound waaaay older than I am...

One thing that disappointed me was the fact that considering the fact that James was truly "The King" in Cleveland the fact that he went for Miami tells me that he doesn't want that anymore... Kinda funny when you're trying to "grow your brand"...

But the fact that in today's sports culture there are really no more "homegrown" stars anymore kind of feels like the girlfriend that cheats on you with your best friend... It kind of hurts as a fan of sports... I know I don't root for teams as much as I used to and I along with many have made a shift to rooting for favorite players no matter where they land...

I kind of miss the old days when it was okay to root for a team because you knew that for the most part the roster was going to stay together for the long haul and people would leave mainly from retirement or injury...

Today's sports culture seems to make it okay for athletes to just sell their way to a championship. Which I guess I understand, but I yearn for the days of the "lovable losers" where people would just grind and try to get better even though they've had bad rosters or bad luck...

There is of course the parity in sports that was pioneered by the NFL, people want to see their teams in the win column which has turned the professional leagues into little league where everyone's a winner... Somewhat absurd...

The first team I loved was the Houston Oilers which they won but they were never in that elite class, but they had a great roster that I loved to watch and I still watch them as the Tennessee Titans (although they've lost some key folks to free agency...). I also loved the New York Knicks back in the day when Patrick Ewing, Charles Oakley, Anthony Mason, Derek Harper, and John Starks were ruling New York... They've fallen on hard times and I see that they are still in that boat despite the fact they just signed Amare Stoudemire... Aaaand of course there's baseball... Oh baseball... The Cleveland Indians were my favorite and still is to this day, albeit they are horrible now...

Of course allegiances do change, that happened to me when I moved to Arizona. I followed the Suns, Diamond Backs and the Cardinals... Do I share the same love for these teams as I did my originals? Maybe with the exception of the D-Backs of course not, but at the same time when that's the show in town, you gotta buy a ticket sometimes... What it came down to was I tried to love the teams we had even though the heros we cheer for left for greener pastures elsewhere...

With that said, I really do yearn for those days when our beloved athletes stayed with one team their whole careers. Is it practical in today's sports world of course not! But a man can have some nostalgia can't he???

UPDATE: Never mind... Michael Beasley just got traded to the Timberwolves forget that I mentioned him... lol

Who Do You Tell?

Wonder who she's listening to?

Short blog today...

So... I was thinking today while talking with people, who do you tell your darkest deepest secrets to?

As I'm sure some of you have gathered I'm a VERY private person who's only sociable when it's convenient for me... But in thinking about it I have a very select group that get to see the REAL Alan Varah. Sometimes to that person's chagrin...

I guess my big thing is... I'm a listener... and in fact, I do enjoy listening to people who have problems because I think emotionally I want that person to vent because even a little bitch fest can be cathartic... I can't say I always want to listen, but I do because it can be good for the soul and the spirit...

So who do I tell stuff to?

My big sister is one... But there are somethings that I still don't tell her because of my fear of disappointing her... But she's always been one of my outlets when my job wasn't going well or when things weren't as rosy as they should've been... We'd usually have our little bitch fests over dinners and fixing up her house... (What can I say? I'm a sucker for food... lol)

My younger brother Adam is one of my partners in crime, I've found that as he grows into a man he's beginning to come into his own and has smart opinions that I can usually get down with... So I would probably say I've had some VERY cathartic talks with him over lunch/dinner (hmmm... seems to be a theme...) and I've usually felt better about it.

Actually I've got some other friends that I tell a lot to such as my friends Paco, Matt S, and my current boss Matt D (damn... I know a lot of Matt's.... I apparently know a lot of Chris' too... lol). But I think that's more of a function of them being the same age as me but it's great to talk to them nonetheless about our issues and daily problems.

I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't mention my mother or my father.... Well much in the asian style we don't talk about our feelings (apparently that's too hippy...) For me though that's more of a fear of my parents see my failures as a person as opposed to not feeling comfortable telling them things...

So... I guess the point of this post is thank you to my confidants for keeping me sane and listening to me, since I have to listen to others problems all day... lol

Okay... So I lied about the short blog thing... lol