So... What's New?

Ahh good times with good friends!

Nothin'... lol

All work and no play makes for a very dull boy...

The bright side is... I've been hanging out with friends going shooting and catching up on my documentaries...

Speaking of documentaries, I just saw one about the British Special Air Service and their anti-terrorism wing. I found out that I want a dynamic hammer now! lol

Work has been VERY stressful and a bit mundane but I guess I'll pile through as always and hope the week will get better...

Still wookin' pa nub in all da wong paces... (If you can't get the reference... I'm very sorry for you... lol)

Well that's it... those are all my disjointed thoughts for this one...

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

The Three Headed Heat Monster... Taking bets on when this is gonna break bad...

No, I'm not doing a tribute to Paula Cole...

I'm actually talking about the most recent developments in NBA free agency. Maybe it's nostalgia or my naivety in looking for "superstars" to stay where they were drafted.

Of course I'm talking about Lebron James leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers for "greener" pastures in Miami joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh as members of the Miami Heat.

First things first, I'm not a particular fan of LBJ, I personally have more respect for Kobe Bryant's talent, drive and ability more than 'Bron. And he's stayed loyal to the Lake Show, so my respect for KB goes up on that fact alone...

With that said, Lebron was quite entertaining in Cleveland when he WAS the show...

Of course he used the standard athlete's answer in saying that it was about winning hence why he chose Miami. Which he felt he could be a championship contender with Wade, and Bosh on the roster with him.

I guess I can understand that, in all reality he will be taking less money in order to play with Wade and Bosh. With that said I don't know how he plans on winning with a roster full of 2nd tier players outside of the aforementioned Wade and Bosh. Michael Beasley has shown flashes but with the new three headed monster coming in I can't imagine he'll develop much more since a good portion of touches will be going to James, Wade, and Bosh. The rest of the roster has been projected to be a motley crew of minimum wage players who would most likely be the 9th or 10th men on other rosters.

So... I can't wait to see how this pans out next year.

Aaaaand there's of course Cleveland... The jilted lover in this debacle...

I genuinely feel bad for the people of Cleveland, the "hometown" boy who made good turned his back on them and bolted for warmer weather when they could've offered him the most financial gain out of all the offers on the table.

So with that said, how bad is the situation in the Cavaliers' organization that their ONLY star had to sprint away ala Usain Bolt from them?

Lebron made the announcement and the reaction from both Cleveland and Miami was pretty predictable. I can't say I was surprised over the decision, there was a ton of speculation that at least Wade and James wanted to play together... But I didn't think that they'd end up together in Miami.

So on to the soapbox and making myself sound waaaay older than I am...

One thing that disappointed me was the fact that considering the fact that James was truly "The King" in Cleveland the fact that he went for Miami tells me that he doesn't want that anymore... Kinda funny when you're trying to "grow your brand"...

But the fact that in today's sports culture there are really no more "homegrown" stars anymore kind of feels like the girlfriend that cheats on you with your best friend... It kind of hurts as a fan of sports... I know I don't root for teams as much as I used to and I along with many have made a shift to rooting for favorite players no matter where they land...

I kind of miss the old days when it was okay to root for a team because you knew that for the most part the roster was going to stay together for the long haul and people would leave mainly from retirement or injury...

Today's sports culture seems to make it okay for athletes to just sell their way to a championship. Which I guess I understand, but I yearn for the days of the "lovable losers" where people would just grind and try to get better even though they've had bad rosters or bad luck...

There is of course the parity in sports that was pioneered by the NFL, people want to see their teams in the win column which has turned the professional leagues into little league where everyone's a winner... Somewhat absurd...

The first team I loved was the Houston Oilers which they won but they were never in that elite class, but they had a great roster that I loved to watch and I still watch them as the Tennessee Titans (although they've lost some key folks to free agency...). I also loved the New York Knicks back in the day when Patrick Ewing, Charles Oakley, Anthony Mason, Derek Harper, and John Starks were ruling New York... They've fallen on hard times and I see that they are still in that boat despite the fact they just signed Amare Stoudemire... Aaaand of course there's baseball... Oh baseball... The Cleveland Indians were my favorite and still is to this day, albeit they are horrible now...

Of course allegiances do change, that happened to me when I moved to Arizona. I followed the Suns, Diamond Backs and the Cardinals... Do I share the same love for these teams as I did my originals? Maybe with the exception of the D-Backs of course not, but at the same time when that's the show in town, you gotta buy a ticket sometimes... What it came down to was I tried to love the teams we had even though the heros we cheer for left for greener pastures elsewhere...

With that said, I really do yearn for those days when our beloved athletes stayed with one team their whole careers. Is it practical in today's sports world of course not! But a man can have some nostalgia can't he???

UPDATE: Never mind... Michael Beasley just got traded to the Timberwolves forget that I mentioned him... lol

Who Do You Tell?

Wonder who she's listening to?

Short blog today...

So... I was thinking today while talking with people, who do you tell your darkest deepest secrets to?

As I'm sure some of you have gathered I'm a VERY private person who's only sociable when it's convenient for me... But in thinking about it I have a very select group that get to see the REAL Alan Varah. Sometimes to that person's chagrin...

I guess my big thing is... I'm a listener... and in fact, I do enjoy listening to people who have problems because I think emotionally I want that person to vent because even a little bitch fest can be cathartic... I can't say I always want to listen, but I do because it can be good for the soul and the spirit...

So who do I tell stuff to?

My big sister is one... But there are somethings that I still don't tell her because of my fear of disappointing her... But she's always been one of my outlets when my job wasn't going well or when things weren't as rosy as they should've been... We'd usually have our little bitch fests over dinners and fixing up her house... (What can I say? I'm a sucker for food... lol)

My younger brother Adam is one of my partners in crime, I've found that as he grows into a man he's beginning to come into his own and has smart opinions that I can usually get down with... So I would probably say I've had some VERY cathartic talks with him over lunch/dinner (hmmm... seems to be a theme...) and I've usually felt better about it.

Actually I've got some other friends that I tell a lot to such as my friends Paco, Matt S, and my current boss Matt D (damn... I know a lot of Matt's.... I apparently know a lot of Chris' too... lol). But I think that's more of a function of them being the same age as me but it's great to talk to them nonetheless about our issues and daily problems.

I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't mention my mother or my father.... Well much in the asian style we don't talk about our feelings (apparently that's too hippy...) For me though that's more of a fear of my parents see my failures as a person as opposed to not feeling comfortable telling them things...

So... I guess the point of this post is thank you to my confidants for keeping me sane and listening to me, since I have to listen to others problems all day... lol

Okay... So I lied about the short blog thing... lol

How Many of Us Have Them?

My Best Friend in the World

Okay... So it's been a little bit since I last wrote but at least it wasn't like 3 months or something like that...

So I've been thinking, what is a friend?

I tend to think as a society we throw around that word a lot to describe people who are mere acquaintances. I know I'm guilty of that just as much as anybody.

The question of who are my "friends" came to mind when me and the manager of our store were talking about it as we were setting up a sidewalk sale.

He's kind of like me, when I say that at my age I really don't need any new "besties"... I have my brother and my cousin who's like my sister, those are pretty much my "best" friends in the world because I would damn near do anything for them. I also have to mention my friend Paco and Matt because I've known them for awhile and they've always provided me good counsel when I needed it. (Well that and the fact me an Paco tend to have an absurd sense of humor that seemingly only we get...)

But... Here comes my fatal flaw... I'm one of those people who would give you the money in my pocket if you seemed like you needed it even if you are just an acquaintance...

One example that comes to mind is one of our cashiers who was saying she wasn't feeling well and had some cramps, I actually went and bought a bottle of water for her so she could feel better... Now mind you she's a cutie, but that wasn't my motivation for doing that... I was genuinely concerned for her well being... (Well that and the fact I really didn't want to have to call someone else to fill in for her... lol)

But it's stuff like that that makes me think, why would I do that when that person isn't even really my friend? I mean we're friends at work (hell, if she wasn't working for me I'd definitely want to date her...) but outside of that I don't really know this girl from Adam...

I want to say maybe it's because my mother has an influence in this or maybe it's the buddhism thing...

My mother who has been divorced from my father a good 10 years went into panic mode when my father had his stroke... When me and my brother talked with her it she was always concerned whether or not we went and visited my father in the hospital. I will mention that they had a VERY messy divorce and a VERY messy marriage... My father did such horrible things to my mother financially it made me feel better when their divorce was final... It was that reasoning that made me and Adam always say "Why in the hell do you even care? Dad was such a prick to you???" The answer always stuns me when she says "Yeah, he's an asshole and I have absolutely no love for him, but I still am concerned from one human being to another..."

So, I apparently inherited that from my mother and grandmother...

When it comes to a choice though between helping a "friend" or just some cat you know, I know I'm going to try my hardest to help both.

But we all make that choice whether or not we extend that kindness to strangers. I guess my choice at the end of the day is to further skew the lines and say well since this person is my "friend"(otherwise known as an acquaintance) I will do what I can do make their lives better...

So What's in the Cards?

Also gotta thank Paco Montoya of E&P Designs for our logo check 'em out!

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine from my Sallie Mae days... (Matt Scheurerman in case you're wondering.... Check out his site!) I think the tone my my Twitter posts lately in addition to my gloomy blog entry about what I wanted to be when I grow up sparked some thoughts about something to take me out of my doldrums...

We had a heck of a talk and he put some good ideas into my noggin so I'll start off by saying thank you Matt for being a sounding board!

So what did I decide to do?

Well my voice has always been something of an asset to me, I've been told of my "radio voice" by customers and co-workers alike... So....

Me and my brother Adam are going to start podcasting again... It'll be a little bit since I need to find a server and a new website. So ETA is probably going to be in a couple of months... We'll still have the same silliness but we're going to set up more professionally this time (hopefully).

We've already got a name thankfully... DeauxBrahs... Adam and I figured it's already in existence and the skateboarding thing didn't work so incorporate it into our media brand...

So, there it is... Another diversion for me and hopefully we can keep it up this time... (Although Adam's out of school now so I don't have to worry about him stressing over tests anymore... lol)

Good Luck In Your Future Endeavors...

Yeah buddy... That was me... lol

I was reading some releases for the WWE and it always makes me laugh when I see "The WWE wishes so and so good luck in their future endeavors"... Really? In a business when someone gets fired I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "Oh and by the way good luck in your future endeavors..." and meant it...

Matter of fact, one fun little story I have centers around my being laid off from Sallie Mae... I laugh at this story because my cousin/big sister was more upset about how it transpired than I was... lol

I'll start off with a little back story on this... Right around 2008 when the elections were starting to heat up there was a lot of talk about student loans getting hit hard especially in the FFELP (If you don't know what that is here's a wikipedia link.... ) So like most major corporations Sallie Mae began to downsize, which is quite understandable because you gotta make that money somehow... (I guess...) My cousin who helped me get a job with Sallie Mae is eternally a "glass half-empty" type of girl... I remember she kept saying we're screwed... It only really started hitting me when pretty much most of my team was let go in a mass layoff. Leaving only 5 or 6 of us left. We were to be reassigned...

So one day I'm working on my daily reports which I sent to the VP I worked for, when all of a sudden I had to reboot my computer. Not an unusual occurrence since the laptops we used crashed or slowed down A LOT...

I'll also mention that day there was a HUGE conference call announcing more layoffs... But I didn't receive an invite to the party, so it was business as usual I thought...

Problem was I wasn't able to log back in... This was about 10 or 11... So I went ahead and called our help desk to see if it was something system related. They said they'd call back.

So I remember going to my cousin's cubicle and telling her something's wrong I don't think I work for the company anymore... I can remember the look on her face, it was a look of disbelief and she started snooping with her boss... I figured if I was getting let go might as well go to lunch... lol

I got back to the office and my cousin had this insane look on her face she looked up the help desk ticket and it said something to the effect of "We contacted Alan's boss and he said Oh he doesn't know?" Suffice it to say my cousin was a little more than pissed... (And you NEVER want to see her pissed...) She went into her bosses office and demanded him to find out what the hell was going on... All the while I'm thinking "Hmm... wonder what now?"

So I get called into our human resources office and they get my director on the phone and she begins to apologize to me about not being on the call that morning and they were letting me go... My first thought honestly was "Ok... Who the hell cares... What are you assholes gonna give me in the way of a severance package??? Dolla signs bitch!" Of course I tried to be as amiable as I could be as she finished up her speech.

So what did she end with? "I want to wish you good luck in your future endeavors" Being the smart ass, I said "Thank you and good luck in your future endeavors as well!" I to this day honestly think that caught her off guard... lol

So once that was finished, my cousin and most of my co-workers of 5 years helped me pack up what I had in my cubicle I said my abbreviated good byes and left no longer working for Sallie Mae...

Funny side note... My cousin called me after she left work to see if I was ok, and then went on a 10 minute rant about how they let me go and how they were a-holes to let me go like that... I'm thinking geez I'm the one who got let go and you're more upset about it than I am! lol (But that's why I've always said that my cousin Corrine is my big sister...)

So what's in a phrase? Especially this one? When people say that they don't give a rat's ass about you... It's really just a nice way of saying "Good riddance and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, because we gotta pay to have that door cleaned..."

What Do I Wanna Be When I Grow Up?

Could that have been me?

It's kind of funny I was thinking about this in reflection of my current life situation...

In my heart of hearts I was thinking I was going to be rich and famous (to which I am neither...) by the time I was 30.

So what's the reality? I'm 32 years old and working as a 2nd Assistant Manager for Big 5 Sporting Goods... Wow...

I look at all the strange turns my life has taken and I am amazed at how many opportunities I've squandered over the years to make my life better. It makes me think that I'm destined to destroy my life...

I know what you're thinking, "Boo hoo to you... At least you have a job and you have your health jackass..."

And to be truthful, I'm not really complaining about where I am in life because at the end of the day, I work for a very good company with some kick butt benefits (I don't have to pay for health/dental insurance and that's WAY cool for a retail outlet.) and I get to hang out with my younger brother who, for all intent and purposes is my son.

Speaking of my younger brother, I'm incredibly proud of the man he is becoming. He graduated with honors from college and is actually working in the field he studied for (Journalism). He still has his little quirks but hell don't we all?

I really envy his youth because he's been able to audition for American Idol, he's sung the national anthem at a Reno Aces game (They're the Arizona Diamondbacks' AAA affiliate), and he's got a wonderful, loud boisterous girlfriend who really cares for him. He really is grabbing life by the balls (when he isn't sleeping of course... lol) and I really envy that.

My question to myself is why the hell didn't I do that? I guess it stems from the fact I was really sheltered when I was young so I tend to always try to go the safe route as opposed to the road of the unknown. I'm a person who says if I can't win why the hell should I play?

I had aspirations as a youngster, that I never achieved and will never be able to (unless of course there is a friggin' miracle and the Navy decides to let people over 30 join the SEALs)

Yes you read that right, I wanted to be a Navy SEAL when I was younger. Not a Doctor, not a police officer, and not a lawyer. And I wanted to be a SEAL, but not in the way that most young people play Army and want to be Rambo... I knew what the SEALs did (not the macho stuff you see in the movies) and I was inspired by their dedication and their heroics. I just remember being 13 and saying to myself I want to be that. And if I got the chance I'd go for it.

Unfortunately, my upbringing came into play... I moved to Arizona at the age of 20 and I was working for a credit card company, when the attacks of 9/11 happened... I remember being so angry and my patriotism welled up in me. Until a call from my mother came in on my cell phone. She started to worry that with those attacks I would get drafted to go to war and what not and I told her not to worry if it came it came. Little did she know I was thinking of going off to join the Navy to try out for BUD/S (SEAL training). But this wasn't the normal call in that I heard the intense worry in her voice which turned on my "Momma's Boy Software" so that scrapped my plans... I thought about enlisting in the ensuing years still thinking I wanted to go military, but when paying rent/car payment/bills enter your mind I knew I wasn't in the state to try. Which I regret to this day...

It always amuses me when my mother asks me why didn't I join the military if I wanted to join so bad? Because I always tell her that in all honesty it's because of that call I got from her on 9/11... In my effort to be a good asian son and not worry her... That usually shuts her up and she doesn't ask or gives me crap about it anymore...

I don't hate her for it, but I always wonder what my life would've been like if I did make it into the Teams. Would I have had the intestinal fortitude to make it through BUD/S Training? Would I be fighting in Afghanistan? Would I have served with distinction? Would I be one of the casualties of war? All questions I'll never know the answer to now...

So as it is now, I'm an Assistant Manager for one of the biggest sporting goods companies in the west. I'm a master at nothing and I'm waaay to old to attain my initial goals... But I guess I keep plugging on as we all do... I need to find some new goals... Although I'll be getting that tattoo that I've been meaning to get for years... So there's one...

So... What do I want to be when I grow up? I guess someone who gives a crap...